A DIY Divorce that works for YOU

A DIY Divorce that works for YOU

Choices choices…

Are you loooking for a DIY Divorce solution that works for YOU?

It’s a bit of a messy world out there, and divorce is no exception. There are ever increasing choices as to how to go about things and those choices can be overwhelming.

If you are going through a relationship breakdown, once you’ve made the decision to separate, the next big questions can often be how to deal with it and to whom should you turn?  Do you try a DIY divorce online? Perhaps you’ll go straight to a mediator? Should you make an appointment with a solicitor? Traditionally, you would go to your family law solicitor to help guide and advise you in sorting through the labyrinth of practical issues stemming from your separation. And often, that is still the case now – you would go to your family solicitor with problems to be fixed.

The solicitor may send you to a mediator, most probably if you have chosen to try to work things out with your ex face to face in the spirit of ‘ I’m sorry this didn’t work out, but I want to be fair to you and hope you will want to be fair to me’.  You may also choose to go directly to a mediator.

Your solicitor may also ‘send’ you to a mediator to simply comply with the ‘rules’, in so far that you ought to have at least found out about mediation before leaping into a court application.

But is that it?  And what does all that mean?

As family practitioners both lawyers and mediators operate within the same legal framework. If you decide to DIY your divorce, you and your ex would also be operating within the same legal framework.

If you’re going through a divorce just now, it is important to remember that:

  • mediated outcomes need to be made binding in law so that you know you can both rely on them in the future; and
  • legal outcomes are enhanced by the nuance of self-determination which comes from genuine dialogue between the people involved – you and your ex.

As after all, when lawyers (and mediators) leave your lives for good and you begin to piece together a new structure for your future, it is you and your ex who will benefit from a solution that sticks.  A solution that you have decided on yourselves. A solution that makes you feel that you have been fairly treated and that you can live with the outcome, without cause for looking back in resentment or regret. This is particularly so if you have children and will need to hang on to the parental relationship.

Relationship breakdown is already hard enough.  Your separation or divorce is not just a process. You will want to look back and think you dealt with that stage in life as best you can. So the choices may seem many but are not so stark in reality. If you want to find out more as to how mediators and lawyers work best together, or how you can ensure your own DIY divorce meets your needs, call our offices at New Landscape Mediation and speak to one of our accredited family mediators for a no-obligation, free, fully confidential conversation on 01279 211657.

Carolyn Hanes
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