Telling your children you are getting divorce is never an easy thing to do. It doesn’t matter that you and your spouse have been arguing for months, or that the vibe in the home is so thick you could cut it with a blunt plastic spoon either. The act of actually sitting down in front of your children and telling them that Mummy and Daddy have decided that the marriage has come to an end is hard. It is an act that takes courage, sensitivity and forethought.
When a marriage has broken down to the point where this step needs to be taken, the most difficult thing in the world to do – BUT BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT, is that as parents you need to approach this difficult task together, as a team. Children in divorce situations need to know more than anything, that despite the heart-breaking fact that mummy and daddy no longer love each other, they will not lose either of them to the divorce and that a well thought through co-parenting plan has been created with their needs at the centre. The greatest fear of most children in divorce situations is that after the divorce, either mummy or daddy will become an abstract figure from their past. This, unfortunately is what they are used to seeing in television programs and films. If you have a think about the role or divorced parents in TV and film, you’ll quickly recognise the image of the absent parent.
Children in divorce scenarios need to know that you both still love them, and that you’ll do your best to create a co-parenting plan to ensure that you remain available to them as parents for the rest of your lives. As Family Mediation Council Accredited mediators, we are used to helping children in divorced families retain positive, working relationships with both of their parents. At New Landscape Mediation we regularly help parents create co-parenting plans that not only end up saving divorcing couples several thousand pounds and months of bitter legal wrangling, but that allow your children to continue to receive the love and support of both their mother and their father as they grow up.
If you would like more information on telling your children you’re getting divorced, please contact New Landscape Mediation on 01279 211 657 for a fully confidential, no obligation discussion of your needs.