Holiday times and especially Christmas can be stressful enough even when you’re not separating or divorcing. The routine bombardment from November onwards of decorations and good cheer can whip up a general frenzy of expectation which can be difficult to fulfil…..particularly in this modern world.
During the run up to Christmas, Social media abounds with tales of trip to exciting places, or images of cosy family time….and you may just feel like stepping out of the loop and shunning the glitz and joy that you’re just not feeling at the moment.
But getting divorced or separated doesn’t mean you’ll end up a social pariah, unable to connect with anyone. The truth for you just now may be that the rawness of divorce can seem so awful that you’ll never feel ‘normal’ again. The real truth however is that you will find your ‘new normal’. It’s just a question of timing. Family mediation provides the space required to consider the variety of questions and concerns you may both have, to allow a solution to form.
So you won’t need to be that holiday recluse…avoiding the tinsel and turkey.
Family mediation helps support yours and your family’s transition from the old normal to the new normal. Finding a way for your children to thrive in a healthy two household new normal is possible. Working out a way for them, you and your ex to look ahead with confidence knowing that the arrangements for the children are in place is possible.
And no, that doesn’t mean as parents that you have to get on well (and stay for Christmas lunch) – you just have to get on well enough to let your children move freely between you both, between two new households without guilt , fear or anxiety. We all know that anything else is going to cause them problems, maybe even into their older years or adulthood. Focussing on what they need from you both will go a long way to keeping the divorce on track in a way that makes you feel you have ownership, rather than being railroaded at a time when you are often most vulnerable. It’s also much better for your kids….
Our accredited family mediators at NLM can help the adjustment and help you and your separating family work out the better way to divorce. Call our offices on 01279 211657 for a free, no obligation discussion with one of our mediators about how mediation can help your family, now and for all those Christmases to come.